Issue #57

Winter 2016 | February 1, 2016

In this Issue:

Crows and Sorrows by Katy Wimhurst


It has been drizzling forever -- or that is how it seems. The November sky is bloated with grey clouds. Collar up and beret on, I make my way down Regent Street, dodging pedestrians and puddles. Read more...

Let’s Reconvene on Tuesday
by William Olmstead


I managed to catch a rhino on the expressway. Five of us clung precariously to the beast as it raced through the trench, headed towards the massive blue ziggurat in the distance -- the metropolis known as Great Northern Blue. The expressway trench was a foul, smelly conveyance, lined with rhino excrement and sometimes the remains of a hapless commuter who’d been unable to maintain a grip on the animal’s saddle. Read more...

Migration Patterns by Randy Schroeder


A musician sat on his violin case, wrapped in a white-feathered coat, waiting for his love. It was late evening, and summer, still early enough for birdsong. A spider spun its web between his knees. Read more...

The Taming of the Orikind by Ken Poyner


When the Orikind were given the surviving Olomong, it was thought the Olomong would make good domestic help, turn out as little more than pets which could be trained to idle purpose. Fresh from the treachery of the summarily slaughtered Red-Ferin, the defeated Olomong milled curiously about, pressing their flightless wings canonically together, making the sound of skull caps being washed in too warm a shiver of water. Read more...

Sideways by Lisa Napolitan


When she awoke, her eyes were where her ears used to be and her ears jutted sharply forward from her face. What had she done? Read more...

Let Me Squeeze Your Islets of Langerhans
by Matthew F. Amati


Welcome. Julie, can you fill out this form and this one and this one? Not that one! And this one. Thank you (tears up forms). Please state your name. Please state your state capital. Please weep. Read more...

About Our Coffee and Other Fare

Please Note: All of the coffee served at The Irreal Cafe is fair trade, organic, shade-grown and not real. All of the food served at The Irreal Cafe is organic, vegan, locally sourced and not real. See "At Our Cafe" for more about what we would serve at The Irreal Cafe and how we would serve it if there were an Irreal Cafe.