The Barchildren and Drive-Thru
The Barchildren
Your local sports bar & grill closes at 2:00AM, but the barchildren aren't released until 3:00AM. The barchildren are kept on the childplatform, which lies beneath the foosball tables, under the floorboards. The barchildren are released by a timed mechanism that pulls the floor open and raises the childplatform.
Each barchild has developed a unique strategy for survival. Some barchildren check the same particular locations of the bar in the same order each night. Other barchildren use their noses to lead them to where they think the most food might be on that particular night. Whatever the strategy used, it is important that each barchild makes use of a unique one.
There are six barchildren. There were seven barchildren before, but the seventh barchild could not develop a unique strategy. The seventh barchild tried following the sixth barchild's strategy, living off of the crumbs and splashes that the sixth left behind, but that didn't last.
The seventh barchild still rots at the center of the childplatform, as a reminder.
And tonight, like every other night, the barchildren will rise from beneath the floor to scavenge the empty bar like hungry cats, leaping from one booth to the next, sprinting from back-bar to front-bar to upstairs-bar, in search of fallen french-fries to inhale and chicken-wing bones to suck. Here, one barchild, head tilted all-the-way-back, will smack the bottom of a pint glass to get the last of someone's lager. There, another barchild will crawl beneath the tables to see what pickle or onion-ring got kicked beneath the booth-seats and forgotten. And one lucky barchild will happen upon an almost-half burger, left by someone in a hurry.
Drive-Thru
Welcome to [NIGHTMARENOISE] would you like to try our new southwest ciabatta bacon five-piece grilled stuffed family bowl wrap combo?
Ah…uhhhh…hang on a…uhhh…
Sir?
N—…no…no…
All right what'll you have?
Okay…uh…what do…what do you guys want…back there?
[SILENCE]
Sir are you ready to order?
[SILENCE]
Sir?
N—…no..no…
Would you like a suggestion?
Hang on…gimme a sec…
Let me know when you're ready.
[SILENCE]
Hello?
[SILENCE]
Hello?
All right what'll you have?
I'll have a…I mean we'll…uh…first, for my…friend, lemme get…one of your…
Sir is there anyone actually in the car with you?
[SILENCE]
Sir?
N—…no…no…
Sir there's no need for lying, please just place your order, we have other customers waiting.
I…oh…
[REARVIEWHIGHBEAMS]
Sir, can I please have your order?
I…I thought I…knew…
Would you like a suggestion?
[SILENCE]
Sir?
[NIGHTMARENOISE]
Sir?
N—…no…no…
Alright what'll you have?
I…maybe…maybe this was a bad idea…
[REARVIEWHIGHBEAMS]
Sir?
N—
[NIGHTMARENOISE NIGHTMARENOISE NIGHTMARENOISE]
Sir?
[SILENCE]
Sir?
Author Bio
Héctor Ramírez is a writer and out-of-work mariachi living in Boulder, CO. He is a creative writing instructor and MFA candidate at CU Boulder, where he received the 2013 Jovanovich Imaginative Writing Award. He reads fiction submissions for Timber journal and is lead staff writer at Vannevar (www.vannevar.net). Some of his flash fictions are forthcoming from Buffalo Almanack.