Issue #55

Summer 2015 | August 1, 2015

In this Issue:

Three Stories by Ian Seed

mirror maze


The storm was so strong it brought down the oak tree in my garden. Amongst its wreckage I found a bedraggled youth, who told me he had been living in the tree. Now he had nowhere to go. Read more...

The King's Man by Ned Thimmayya


To be the King's Man you must subject yourself to a series of four tests. Each test measures your loyalty to the King. All possessing, revered to the utmost, the King will not tolerate dissidence. Selflessly, sacrificially, you must give yourself to the King. To be the King's Man requires perfect fidelity and the will to sustain it. Read more...

They Only Look Like They're Smiling
by Venita Blackburn


Blabbermouth Vicki caught me talking to the turtle tank in the break room. Now everybody knows and is making a big deal out of my days as an animal physiotherapist. We're all trying to save something here. Read more...

The Theory of G by D. Harlan Wilson

mirror 6

Larded with fractures, Dr. Ströffe entered the manse and immediately clutched his heart. It was more than a gee-whiz overture to the night. He fell to one knee and threw back his head, punctuating the roll of fat on his lower neck. His skull glistened in the light of a low-hanging chandelier. Read more...

Timing Is Everything
by Brianne Holmes

Chicago's bean

We were running so late to the wedding, I had to turn around and drive home two hours before we arrived at the ceremony, just so we could make it home in time for work. This chronological finagling had its effect on the children. Read more...

Pete and the Elephant by Nikolaj Volgushev


They had moved the elephant into Pete's apartment, as it would turn out later, by accident. Someone had fat fingered the online form, the algorithm hadn't worked correctly, whatever, the cause was never established definitively; the effect however was the elephant, in Pete's apartment. The elephant came in a box, carted in by three men wearing gray uniforms and gray hats. They'd pried open the crate and there was the elephant. Read more...

About Our Coffee and Other Fare

Please Note: All of the coffee served at The Irreal Cafe is fair trade, organic, shade-grown and not real. All of the food served at The Irreal Cafe is organic, vegan, locally sourced and not real. See "At Our Cafe" for more about what we would serve at The Irreal Cafe and how we would serve it if there were an Irreal Cafe.